I like to grill. I like to grill a lot.

I decided I’d up my winter grilling game by purchasing an inexpensive kamado grill. I chose the kamado style because I already have a barrel grill, but it leaks heat like TFG’s administration leaked ambient anger.

I figured I’d also up my game by getting a wireless thermometer to go with the sealed kamado. The one I chose was the Meater+. It had everything I thought I needed: it was bluetooth, so I didn’t need an internet connection. It was totally wireless, so even if I put it in a rotisserie, it wouldn’t wind itself up like a bad plot point in a genetically-engineered shark movie (you know what I’m talking about, Deep Blue Sea). It looked really cool in its base station, a small bamboo slab with room enough for the probe, an AA cell, and a bluetooth repeater. The hardware I received was exquisite. Like all well-designed and simple accessories, it felt good. Not just in the hand, but on the fridge; the bamboo base station had magnets, and it attached to the fridge and just looked fuckin’ elegant. It was time to use the downloaded Meater app to set up my probe. My first warning sign was the fact the app required me to allow it to access location services just to set up the thermometer.

I develop mobile apps for a living. And I have developed bluetooth services. This didn’t make sense to me. Bluetooth is a local area communication service. There’s no reason I should have to allow the app to access location to enable a Bluetooth device.

I thought about returning the device then, but figured I could turn off that permission as soon as I’d configured the thermometer.

The app then recognized the thermometer.

Then it required I set up an account with Meater. This wasn’t optional; I couldn’t skip this step and just use the thermometer I had purchased without additional services. They require creating an account just so I could use the hardware I purchased. There’s no reason for this process. Setting up a simple Bluetooth thermometer shouldn’t require a location, since Bluetooth is localized and easily managed. Nor should it require an external service account, unless the end-user wants to use extended services like remote notification over the internet. More and more, companies like Meater use data as their income source. Not their hardware (which is undeniably excellent). Nor their service (which for those who just wish to have a Bluetooth thermometer, is non-existent). I get a company like Facebook expecting some return on data, when you don’t pay a thing at all. I am appalled by Facebook’s handling of that data, but I get it. Even Shakespeare gotta get paid. Even if you facilitate the undermining of Democracy in America. Just for profit. (There’s a lot of irony here. But I’ve been saying for years, if you get something for free and don’t see a product, you are the product.) But when you sell a hardware product that has no reason to collect location data, nor should it require signing up for a service (even if free), you are a data collection scam. You are trying to force people who bought your product into being a different product.

I honestly have no clue what value a thermometer that measures ambient and meat-internal heat might provide. I really don’t. But Meater does. Otherwise, they wouldn’t require me to sign up for their service just to use the piece of hardware I purchased. Don’t even get me started on Peloton.